I have been
complaining alot recently about sorting out and changing several aspects of my
life. I feel miles away from where I’d like to be. But while I have spent a ton
of energy complaining, I have done very little to actually bring about any
change. I’ve sort of been waiting for someone or something to sort things out
for me. I am actually tired of the sound of my complaining voice. If I were a friend
of mine, hearing me complain all the time, I’d smack me and walk away.
The other day, a
friend told me to set small goals instead of making an overwhelming life plan. That
sounds doable. So that is what I am doing. My first focus and goal is to focus
on my health and fitness. I have joined a gym, met a trainer and taken a huge
leap in leaving my darling Lucas in the gym day nursery for an hour each visit.
I am sort of riddled with guilt over it, but there really is no other way.
I am 15 weeks
post-partum and 20 pounds heavier than I was this time last year. And I have a
long road ahead. I know this. It was confirmed. I met with a trainer who was
kind enough to not only weigh me, but also measure my body fat percentage
(40.9). Geez thanks for that. I am two weeks in and have lost NOTHING. But I am
going to stick to my plan.
At the moment nothing
makes me feel fatter than going to the gym. Why? Because healthy fit people
tend to go to the gym and those healthy fit people have the cheek to exercise RIGHT
NEXT TO ME! And I DONT LIKE IT! I am coping and still making it to the gym
though, telling myself “you have three children” to make myself feel better. Ah
well.
Next focus,
career ...
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