Lonely - Feeling Sad

This is C, having her lunch on her own today. Most of the time we have lunch together, but today, for whatever reason, she would not let me sit with her and insisted on eating alone at the mini-table. Like all of us, I guess that she just needed a bit of space. I wouldn't want to hang out with me all of the time either if I were her. I let it be and watched from the hallway. I couldn't help but wonder what was going through her little head. Watching her eat alone made me wonder if she was sad. She didn't look sad and eating alone is a brave thing to do. At least I think it is.

I started to think about sadness and all of the times in my life when I was very sad. I reflected on the times in my life I thought were sad at the moment, but in retrospect they were just things that had to happen, poor choices or sadness resulting from immaturity and inexperience. I thought about all of the things I would have done differently.

I then started to go through a mental rolodex of people currently in my life going through difficult times, breakups, financial problems, infertility, illness, loss and the scenarios just kept running through my head. We walk around, not knowing each other's sadness but there is alot of sadness out there. It just happens behind closed doors, alone at our dining room tables.